Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
