Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
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