When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
