I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
