I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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