I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
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