By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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