Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
its not stalking. its research.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize