I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
i think my cat just said my name.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
