Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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