Will you blow on my dice?
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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