There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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