If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize