At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
