lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
