The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
