Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
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