We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
