I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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