You can't special order awesome
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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