it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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