When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Randomize
