We're like a lot better than the average bears
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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