What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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