i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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