I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
