It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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