We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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