so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Randomize
