I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
