I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
