"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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