We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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