Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
