with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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