I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
