At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
