Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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