hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
