that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
is wine microwaveable?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
