i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
