My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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