i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
