so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
