I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
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