In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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