He uses pillows to masturbate.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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