Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
