it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
