Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
