Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We're using joints as your birthday candles
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize