I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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