when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
