living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
