I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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