I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
