the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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