I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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